quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
