I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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