He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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