Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
