finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think my moral compass just broke
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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