Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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