He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she peed on how many people?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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