if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
