Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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