on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
