Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
