I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
