I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
