Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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