They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
