so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
