so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
