you traded sex for a burrito?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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