At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
