we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize