a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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