using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
