watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
