The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
