I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
