Is it normal to miss your booty call?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
