Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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