hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
