If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
