Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
