Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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