im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
