YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
