i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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