I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
