everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
