I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
