I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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