I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
