I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think people are normalizing furries
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
