Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
