Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I didn't notice because vodka
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
