you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
