Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
