Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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