I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
