You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
