In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Less talking, more tequila
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
