this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
