similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
