About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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