Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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